Josephine Says the Darndest Things

My daughter is a spunky redhead.  She is sweet, kind, smart, ornery (some of the time), helpful (most of the time) and hilarious (all of the time)…..and I don’t even think she knows it yet.  I have compiled a list of her sayings that I can’t help but look back on, smiling and laughing. I hope you will enjoy!

jos2013

December 2012-My tummy just gave a good long hunger growl while Josephine was sitting on my lap. We stared at each with a little smirks and I asked her, “What was that?”. She said, “Baby!”

April 2013- Josephine got a sucker for going up front at church for children’s time. When she came back and asked me to open it for her, I did. Then, while the pastor was leading everyone in prayer, Josephine noticed everyone was praying except for me, because I was looking at her and her new sucker. She looked at me through the corner of her eye, pushed my head to look away and said, “Pray”.

May 2013- I asked Josephine if she needed her diaper changed, usually the answer is “no, thanks,” but today, it was “yes, I promise!”

July 2013- We were at the grocery store and Josephine see’s a man in a hawaiian shirt. She laughs loudly and says, “That guy is in his pajamas!”

July 2013- It’s quiet…a little too quiet. I’m in the living room and I don’t see Josephine.
Me: “Josephine, What are you doing?”
(Voice coming from my bedroom): “I’m not getting in your stuff!”  Yes, yes she was.

August 2013- I was giving Jos some options for dinner: Mac & Cheese, Pasta, PB&J, Ham Sandwich….She Says, “HAM SANDWICH!?! That’s too big of a bite. That’s for adults.”

August 2013- Yesterday Josephine was playing with a friend when he fell into the never ending crevasse of plush toys between her bed and the wall. “You fell into the Toy Pit!” I exclaimed…… Later, when Jos fell into that same space she yelled, “I fell into the Toy Armpit!”

October 2013- Josephine was getting ice cream from her Nonni. She saw the sugar free kind and said “I want THAT!”. Nonni said, “No No, You can have some of my private stash (with sugar)”. Josephine replied back in a very serious tone, “We do not say vagina. We do not talk about our privates.”

November 2013- “Josephine, did you pick up your toys?”
Jos: “Yes……but don’t check it!”
November 2013- Me: “Josephine, why are you eating applesauce out of your belly button?!”
Jos: “Because it makes me adorable.”
 
December 2013- Me: “Josephine, you can have 2 m&ms if you let me brush out your crazy hair…Can you count 2 out?…..Whoa! That’s too many!”
Jos: “But I want too many!”

chocolatejos

January 2014- Josephine got a birthday party invitation in the mail. After she opened it, Jason was reading it aloud to her and said, “Oh Josephine, you need to RSVP.” She responds, “But I already went pee!”

February 2014- Josephine loves Taco Bell. While grabbing her a cheesy rollup in the drive thru, we asked her what a Bell sounds like…..she said toots.

May 2014- Yesterday I was helping Josephine hand out the Mother’s Day cards we made for Nonni & Aunt Meghan….afterwards, I jokingly asked her where my Mother’s Day card was. She said, “I didn’t make you one.” I pretended to cry & she walked away saying, “You don’t always get what you want.”

May 2014- Josephine was dramatically singing & dancing, “LET IT GO! LET IT GOOO! CAN’T HOLD IT BACK ANYMOOOooooOOORE!” (Insert loud adult male sized rip from her tiny hiney) Oh, the irony.

May 2014- Josephine: “Remember last night when daddy used the sandal as a baby?” 
Me: “Yeah, that was funny.”
Josephine: “Remember last night when daddy tooted? That was adorable.”

May 2014- Daddy had shaved the night before, after the kids were in bed.  In the morning, Josephine  was wanting to wake daddy up…..”I’m gonna go in there and ask him why he took his beard off and I’m gonna sneak him up.”

June 2014- We had some rain leak in our car floor board so it had a musty smell. She said, “It smells like the car pooped. It must have eaten ALL of the muffins.”

August 2014- Jos: “Mom! Can you come wipe me!”
Me: “Josephine, you didn’t even poop. There’s nothing in there.”
(She looks in the toilet and all around in disbelief)
Jos: “I heard it! Maybe it walked away….”

August 2014- Josephine and I were washing our hands in a restaurant bathroom, when Josephine takes a long joyful sniff of the soap on her hands and exclaims, “Mmmmmm!! Smells like a Doctor’s Appointment!”

August 2014- Me: “Josephine, do you want veggie sticks or pea crisps with your sandwich?”
Jos: “Veggie sticks, cause pea crisps make me poop.”

September 2014- Jospephine (trying to take a nap on vacation): “But Mom! I just can’t stop thinking about magic and yummy food and going to the zoo and ladybugs!”

September 2014- I hear Josephine singing a song (Imagine this being sung)……”Excuse me! I tooted in Kannon’s bedroom. He didn’t notice. He didn’t even notice.”

funny

December 2014- I introduced my 4 year old daughter to the movie Elf. I loved watching her wide smiled face as we watched all of the silliness unfold. About half way through she stood up and said, “I think I want to marry him.”

December 2014- Driving to the store, Josephine asked where we were going…”to the store”, I said. “I don’t like the store”, she said. “Why?” I asked. “Because when we look at the toys you always just say, ‘maybe for your birthday, maybe for your birthday.’ ” She’s got us figured out.

January 2015- Josephine’s compliment after I had gotten dressed up a bit for a baby shower, “Ooooh mommy! You look…..(pause) MARRIED!”

 January 2015- “I love you bigger than a small baby. I love you more than a yogurt bite.” -Josephine

January 2015- It’s nap time and Josephine just got in trouble for being out of bed. Now she is yelling from her bedroom- “Mom! I’m thinking of a bad idea again! I’m not gonna do it. I’m not gonna listen to my heart.”

February 2015- Jos came in to my room in the morning and asked me a question. When I responded, she said, “oh mom, your breath is exhausting!”

April 2015- Something finally clicked and Jos can now pump her legs correctly to swing herself on the swing set. I was telling her how proud I was of her, but she was confused. “Wait…..Is God pushing me?!”

May 2015- I was talking about cards for Mother’s Day and Jos said, “Do I get a card? I want a card!” I said, “Well, you’re not a mother yet and it’s a special time to celebrate mother’s.” Her response was, “Fine then I’ll make a Kid’s Day.”

May 2015- I don’t usually make grape juice, but today I did. Josephine said she didn’t know if she’d like it, but she would give it a try. She took a drink and said, “Yum! I like it! It’s like the Holy Spirit!” (meaning communion) 

July 2015- “Dad, while you were reading, you kept splashing me!”

That’s all for now! Share with your friends and family and check back, as I will continue to add to this post!

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16 Comments Add yours

  1. Miranda G. says:

    Oh my goodness! These are so hilarious! I was definitely LOL-ing. I especially love the “armpit” one, and the one where you don’t always get what you want 🙂 My 3 year old has started saying to me “you get what you get” whenever she gives me something. Kids are so funny!

    Also, my daughter is named Josephine as well. I already commented that on your FB page, but that is what made me click over and I’m so glad I did! I wrote a post about her a few months ago, here it is if you’re interested. http://rahabtoriches.com/learn-from-drama-queen/

    Like

    1. Breetalks says:

      Thanks so much for clicking and commenting! I’ll definitely check out your post.

      Like

  2. Katie Dotson says:

    Hilarious! This kid has got that something special! I can’t wait to hear more!

    Like

  3. Liese Wolff says:

    OMG sooo cute and such a good idea to remember these little things! My daughter says some of the most hilarious things too. Such a good way to start my morning, thanks!

    Like

    1. Breetalks says:

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

  4. Mega C says:

    She reminds me of my Goddaughter. 🙂

    Like

    1. Breetalks says:

      You must have an awesome Goddaughter! 😉

      Like

  5. I love that you kept track of all these cute things that she did. I am terrible about doing that, and some of the things my 3 kids do are hilarious, that I’d want to remember.

    Like

    1. Breetalks says:

      Facebook helped me keep track, but I had to go through 3 years worth of posts to get them all together.

      Like

  6. Tobias says:

    That is so cute! And the pictures are amazing 🙂

    Like

    1. Breetalks says:

      Thanks! She’s a hoot!

      Like

  7. Shaun Courtney says:

    She is a Courtney through and through. Great post Bree! Send our love.

    Like

    1. Breetalks says:

      Thanks! Will do!

      Like

  8. Meghan Courtney says:

    I have one to add from our trip to Boston.

    Jos: “Aunt Meg, why are you and him (referring to my son Zane) crazy?
    Bree: “Josephine, do you mean silly?”
    Jos: “No, I mean craaazy!”

    I laughed so hard. Crazy Aunt Meg bought a “Fruitcakes Welcome” sign at Christmastime in honor of my adorable and hilarious niece, Josephine (someday to be known as Josephina.) ; ) We love you, sweet Jos!

    Like

    1. Breetalks says:

      Hahahaha yes! Thanks for adding in! 🙂

      Like

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